Why am I here?
Well yes, that is a frequently asked question, but perhaps one not best suited to this site.

Replacement pads.
The Cook’s Toolkit comes with a six month supply of Menu and Shopping Planner pads.  Replacement pads will be made available shortly through the website.  Please note that with the exception of the Shopping Planner, all other pads are double-sided, and so should provide plenty of sheets to begin with.

Your desert island food?
For me that would be anything involving lime, raspberries or crème fraiche.  Lemon too.  I couldn’t live in a world without lemons.  Or tomatoes. 

International orders.
The Seasonal Fruit and Vegetable Calender corresponds to Australian seasons.  Regrettably therefore The Cook’s Toolkit is not currently an international product. 

I am a major publisher wishing to self-flagellate and beg for mercy.  Can I contact you with a view to offering you a record-breaking advance and worldwide distribution?
I’ll drink anyone’s beer.  But best bring your smiley cheque book.

I am an editor who rejected your submission.  Now that you’re a fabulous success, can I change my mind?
That depends very much on what your rejection said, my friend. 

Avocado is so healthy.  What’s the best way to serve it?
Doused in lime juice with a side order of Mexican banquet and some properly made margaritas.  That’ll cure its smirky little self-righteous heart tick.

Your worst cooking disaster?
That would be a toss up between the exploding potato, the self-igniting moussaka and the time I mistook cocoa for Gravox and poured it all over possibly the best roast beef I had ever cooked.  (And no, I don’t use Gravox anymore.  I was young and didn’t know any better.)  

Do you eat with a knife and fork?
On occasion. 

There are 28 suggested index pages but only 10 index dividers.  Can’t you count?
Not all that well, frankly, but that’s really not the point.  Long story, with many reasons.  Originally there were 28 dividers but it made the compendium too heavy and bulky.  Also it created an issue of locking you into the way I would use the Toolkit when the idea is for you to be able to use it the way you want to.  One man’s lunch is another man’s entrée.  That’s why the divider tabs are blank, for you to write on.  I also realised having 28 dividers was unnecessary and wasteful.

What I suggest is this, while you might like to create for example, individual pages for for Mains-Chicken, Mains-Lamb, Mains-Beef, and so forth, only create one index divider for Mains and file the individual pages under it.  Similarly, while I would create individual pages for Desserts, Dessert Sauces & Garnishes, Cakes, Biscuits, Muffins etc., I would create only one index divider for all those pages simply labelled Sweet Things.

In this way, you get to have your cake and eat it too – having many categories will make your Central Recipe Index easy to search, while you will still be able to lift your Toolkit without a crane.

Does God exist?
You again?  Look I told you – not here.  Try www.satre.com.au

What’s the difference between Noteworthy Notes and The Cook’s Diary?  Why have you done it this way?  Why are you confusing and upsetting me like this?
Noteworthy Notes is for the purpose of recording general ingredient notes while The Cook’s Diary is for modifications to specific recipes.  For example you would record the standard weight of eggs as a Noteworthy Note while you would record you preferred to omit cream from your pumpkin soup in your Cook’s Diary.  One reason for this is ease of reference and retrieval.  Lumping all notes together would make it far too time consuming for you to find them when you need them – i.e. the caramelising onion wants your attention RIGHT NOW THANK YOU and your finger’s running up and down the pages for the third time while you try to find your note.  There are a few other reasons.  Honestly, I have your best interests at heart.  I think once you get the hang of it, you’ll see my reasons for doing it this way.

Alternatively, you could use your cook’s diary for both, starting your entries corresponding to specific recipes with numbers (as demonstrated on the index divider) and starting your general notes with the name of the ingredient.

I think you’ll find my suggested method easier, but the choice is entirely yours.

Is it okay to have pre-marital sex?
I… you AGAIN?  Look, just clear off. 

I don’t see your phone number anywhere. 
In the interests of keeping costs to a minimum, Clever Pumpkin Pty. Ltd. is an internet only business.  We have no switchboard and no showroom.  We would be delighted to hear from you via email.  Our street address is listed under Contact for the purposes of accountability and for your peace of mind.  We also list our A.C.N.

Strangest thing you’ve ever eaten?
McDonalds.  It’s the only thing in the world that doesn’t taste a bit like chicken, even when it is chicken.

May I have your egg & bacon pinwheel recipe?
Absolutely not.  It took me thirteen years to successfully plagiarise Paterson’s recipe and I’m not sharing.

Are these really frequently asked questions or are you making them up?
I’m making them up. 

If I contact you with a question, will you make me feel bad for asking by pointing me to an answer in your FAQ’s?
No.   I am not a telco or energy retailer.  I would be more than happy to answer any questions you are good enough to take the time to send me.  I look forward to hearing from you.    Though if you supply your phone number I might put on an Indian accent and call you up at dinner time, just for fun.

Do you think you’re some kind of smart-a*s?
No.  I know I am.  And I actually prefer to spell it with an e on the end.

Description of goods
The Cook's Toolkit by Clever Pumpkin is a diary/planner cooks use to compile their own compendium.  It consists of a folder, four pads (menu planner, shopping planner, recipe index and a general purpose pad for all other uses) and index dividers, upon which sample pages and suggested uses are printed.  Content such as actual menus, dietary advice or cooking tips is not provided.  Just like any other diary, the content is compiled by the user. 

Prices
Include GST, are in Australian Dollars and include freight.

Returns
Should you wish to return your purchase because you have changed your mind, please note that in this circumstance delivery and handling charges are not refunded, and returns are to be made at the customer's cost and risk.  That means you pay the postage both ways.  Returns must reach us within seven days of their original despatch, and in pristine condition, the pads still in their shrink-wrapping.  Should the return fail to meet any of these conditions, a refund will not be given.

In the unlikely event that your order has arrived faulty or damaged, we will replace it provided that you contact us by email with details of the damage within 24 hours of receipt.  Please open your order immediately upon receipt. 

Delivery
Please note we cannot ship to P.O. Boxes.

Terms
By accessing, browsing or using this website, you agree to the terms, conditions and disclaimers herein as amended from time to time. By purchasing an item advertised on this website you agree to be bound by these Terms and Conditions and amendments made from time to time.  The purchaser warrants that no claim is made as to the suitability of The Cook’s Toolkit’s use.

Privacy
We will use your information only for the purposes for which it is provided. 

Amendment
The pumpkin which appears as a watermark on the first edition multi-purpose pad was a stunt pumpkin used in pre-production which was not intended for use in the end product.  It will be replaced by our trademark Clever Pumpkin logo in the second edition of the Cook's Toolkit.